


i told you we’d make it

by BKLYN



Series: SteveandBucky one-shots [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, i really don’t know what this is but i wrote it so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 20:30:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14457156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BKLYN/pseuds/BKLYN
Summary: don’t win the war till i get there





	i told you we’d make it

**Author's Note:**

> I watched Infinity War last night and it wrecked me but then I found the first half of this in my notes from the first time I watched Civil War and decided to finish it.

He keeps his mouth shut when Bucky asks that question in the jet because his answer would only make things worse.

He knows he loves Bucky, that he wants nothing more than to land this jet in the next copse of trees and just stay there forever, nothing but the two of them, a centuries' worth of memories, and the peace and quiet of their surroundings to ease them.

But the others have been captured. Clint and Sam and Wanda and Scott. He has no clue where Nat is, if she's still alive. 

And Rhodey. 

If he's dead, Tony won't rest until one or all of them are dead, too. He eyes the jet's control panel guiltily. With Bucky behind him, he can't risk nosediving this time; he knows it wouldn't kill him anyway.

So he turns to face the front, says nothing, and looks down at the thick blanket of trees beneath them as they continue.

He can feel Bucky staring at him.

-

And then, they've landed. They're gearing up and reminiscing and Bucky's actually remembering things, and all Steve knows is that it doesn't matter if he dies here because Bucky remembers and Bucky's smiling and laughing and suddenly looking at Steve.

His smile begins to fade, eyes darkening with the beginnings of intent and Steve wants to. He wants to give in so badly, just secure the jet and stay, and touch, and feel, finally feel like something more than Captain America for the first time in years. And he knows Bucky can do that, can help him become Steve Rogers again, even if only for a little while.

He's about to do it. He freezes, completely sure of this. He's going to let Bucky lean in and run his fingers up his jawline until he's cupping his face and pressing their lips together, and his knees are going to get weak, but it won't matter because he knows Bucky will keep him from falling, even though Steve let him fall all those years ago—  
_he let_  
him fall  
and  
didn't jump after  
him  
and bucky died  
and  
was  
tortured and the same  
thing  
will happen to  
clint and sam and wanda and scott if  
he  
doesn't stop  
zemo and  
he can't— __

__He looks away, muttering something about the mission._ _

__This time, Bucky looks away too._ _

__-_ _

__Tony is angry. Tony is upset, and Steve's going to have to confess what he knows when he's faced with the pure hurt on his (former) allies' face._ _

__"Did you know?"_ _

__It's a simple question, yes or no is all Steve has to say. But it's not that easy. What he says next should be the truth, and yet he can see Bucky in his peripheral, remembers the way Tony looked at him as the video played. Bucky's cowering, trying to hide even as he hefts his gun in Tony's direction and he's crying, Bucky's crying and Tony's not letting his tears fall, and Steve's so tired of other people hurting because of him and he should be the one hurting, he's the reason Bucky's here, the reason Tony was forced out of his peaceful life and he deserves what he knows is going to happen when he answers._ _

__"Yes."_ _

__And for a moment, he's scared. Not because Tony's going to hit him, but because Tony looks over at Bucky. And he's so angry, so full of rage, and Bucky's desperately trying to lower the gun, but Steve knows his instincts must be screaming at him to shoot, to defend himself the way they were taught to during the war and the way he was forced to for the decades after._ _

__He sees Tony's hand lift in his direction, and he's glad._ _

__-_ _

__He's flying backwards with the force of the blast, feeling the air rush out of his lungs as he meets the stone wall and falls forward. Instantly, his muscles are ready to propel him back into the fray, but he can't breathe, can't breathe, can't breathe. His forehead is pressed to the ground, and he slowly raises his eyes._ _

__Bucky is running at Tony and dodging the blind jabs Tony throws with the grace and poise of a dancer, crowding him back, gripping the arm Tony's attempting to blast him with and jerking it away. And he's yelling, screaming in a mixture of fear and exertion as he pins Tony's head against the wall and grapples at his chest._ _

__And Steve is up, he's ready to help, if he jumps in now, he knows they can subdue Tony, he knows they—_ _

__Bucky's right shoulder pops out of place as he's violently jolted back. He stumbles and twists with the force, falling sideways to his knees and barely catching himself with his arm._ _

__The one he has left._ _

__He's trembling, gaping at the shredded remains of his prosthetic. His chest heaves and his jaw clenches and he looks like he wants to scream but he never gets the chance to because then Tony blasts him again, launches him into the same wall and this time Bucky doesn't move._ _

__-_ _

__He's still fighting. Tony’s fighting back, using his targeting systems to counteract Steve's blows._ _

__And when Steve's on the ground again, not at all certain of what he's going to do when he gets up, just that he will, he's suddenly thrown back to that day in the alley._ _

__He was on the ground then, too. He was spitting up blood, his body screaming at him to stay down._ _

__He didn't._ _

__And this time, with Tony looming over him, ordering him to stay down, he gets back to his feet. He echoes the mantra he used back in those streets and throws himself forward._ _

__And again, Bucky changes the stakes with a single movement of his arm. Tony stumbles, then makes a mistake that makes Steve, even within his rage, internally scoffs at._ _

__He turns his back._ _

__He turns his back on the man who spent infinite hours in the tower's gym teaching him not to, and for some reason, it's this act of blatant disregard for his own safety that pushes Steve over the edge._ _

__He hears the bones in Bucky’s jaw crack as Tony’s boot connects with then and he lunges forward, reaching for whatever edges of the suit he can and lifting, arms burning with the effort. His body’s working on autopilot now, the only thoughts in his mind are to hit as hard as possible. The shield cracks Tony’s helmet open easily and then he meets his eyes, so full of fear and anger, and raises the shield one last time._ _

__-_ _

__T’Challa is quiet as he takes Bucky’s weight from Steve, tucking him into the back of his jet. Bucky falls over immediately, unconscious once again. Steve climbs in beside him, taking a moment to stare back at the base._ _

__Tony hasn’t flown out yet. Steve knows he didn’t kill him, knows Tony can take hits far worse than what he gave him, but he still keeps his eyes there, a pit forming in his stomach as T’Challa starts the engine and there’s still no sign of the suit._ _

__Zemo, secured in the seat beside T’Challa, follows Steve’s gaze and gives one short, hoarse laugh. Steve ignores it and reaches for Bucky, shifting them around until his friend’s head is his lap, his jaw slack and limbs hanging loosely off of the seat but his chest moving up and down nonetheless._ _

__It’s a silent flight._ _

__-_ _

__T’Challa insists upon depositing Zemo in Berlin before he takes them to his home. He promises Steve he won’t let anyone near the jet, even activates a cloaking device to hide it completely before yanking Zemo from his seat and guiding him towards the compound._ _

__Bucky’s breath hitches and Steve knows he’s awake. He makes no move to put space between them, and Bucky doesn’t either. He goes to push himself onto his back, then remembers._ _

__“It happened again?”_ _

__Steve looks down and watches Bucky’s jaw move slowly, painfully, as he turns his head to stare blankly at the empty space at his side. “I’m sorry, Buck.”_ _

__He uses his other arm to grip at Steve’s shoulder, pulling himself up for a second but then falling back into his lap with a defeated groan. “Sorry for what? I did it. I killed his parents.”_ _

__“But it wasn’t you.” Steve can feel his indignation building up again. Bucky shakes his head, a small smile on his face._ _

__“If Tony had been brainwashed and killed me while he was, would you be willing to let it slide?”_ _

__Steve doesn’t say anything to that, too focused on the fact that Tony had almost killed Bucky a few hours ago. Bucky grunts self-assuredly, then raises his hand to touch Steve’s face._ _

__It’s a light touch — nothing close to a grip — just a ghost of fingers against his jaw, but Steve can feel every nerve in his body rush to meet it. His eyes are locked onto Bucky’s, jaw clenched. Bucky stares back calmly, smiling, then lets his hand fall and his eyes close._ _

__Steve wants to say something, but then the jet’s door is opening again. T’Challa says something about Agent Ross but Steve doesn’t hear it, too busy watching Bucky’s chest move up and down again._ _

__-_ _

__Steve has never felt comfortable in medical rooms. It’s a learned trait, he supposes, from all those years of being poked and prodded and injected before the serum made sure he’d never have to go through it again. He feels out of place in the immaculate space, covered in dirt and blood that’s only accentuated by the clean clothes T’Challa gave him to change into._ _

__He’s just left the throne room, where he and T’Challa delivered a report to the council elders on what had happened. They’re not happy about housing fugitives, but with T’Challa’s coronation to happen in a couple of days, he leaves them no room to argue._ _

__Now he waits outside the lab. A group of assistants had loaded Bucky onto a levitating table, taking him to be cleaned and stitched up before a formal examination. He has yet to meet the king’s sister, but T’Challa’s assured him that she’s the best at what she does._ _

__“You can stay, too. There is plenty of room for both of you here.” T’Challa comes up behind him, eyes honest._ _

__Just then, Bucky appears, on the other side of the glass, no longer needing support on his left side. He’s smiling, clean and clad in white clothing, chatting with the assistants as they guide him to an exam table. He hops on, letting them attach sensors and monitors to his flesh arm as they continue talking. Steve watches silently for a moment, then turns to T’Challa._ _

__“Thank you for taking us in. And for your offer. But I have something I need to do first.”_ _

__“You are going to the Raft to free your friends.” T’Challa doesn’t sound shocked or upset. He looks to the lab then back to Steve._ _

Steve takes a breath, ready to explain himself, then his eye catches more activity within the lab. Bucky’s watching closely as the assistants show him some sort of pod, his vitals monitored beside it. The sight puts a lump in Steve’s throat. 

He knows he can’t change Bucky’s mind about this. He’s just tired of losing him.

__“You will not go alone.” T’Challa’s moving away, a few of the Dora following him._ _

__“You’re coming with me?”_ _

__“Say your goodbyes,” he gestures to Bucky. “We leave in 15 minutes.”_ _

__-_ _

__Steve’s lived in a lot of places, but this is the one that feels the most like home. There’s no pictures on the wall, no television or books to read, but it’s all he has now, and all he needs._ _

__The kids — Steve still has no idea when or why Bucky decided to take them in — are the first to greet him as he reaches the bottom of the hill. They’re cheering and giggling, jumping to ask for hugs and darting in and out of his way as he walks down the path to the house. The goats pay him no mind, moving with the sluggish pace of creatures who have never known anything but peace._ _

__Bucky appears in the doorway just before he reaches it, a contented smile on his face. The kids dart past them, leaping onto the furniture, excitedly chattering with details about their day. Steve drops his chin, pressing his forehead to Bucky’s with a soft “Hi.”_ _

__His only response is an arm around Steve’s waist, squeezing tightly for a beat then stepping aside to usher him inside._ _


End file.
